Stay Classy [ REPLAY ]

ICE CREAM!!!

OK... I was going to explain how to survive a zombie apocalypse this week, but I didn't put enough time into it, so... that'll just have to wait. I... umm.... hope the zombie apocalypse doesn't happen this week.

In the meantime, check out this bear. He's like a real-life, kickass Donatello teddy bear. Awesome.



The overdubbed comment at the end.... oddly hilarious.


And this is just for fun. You have to get through about half of it before you'll really start to really enjoy it. Fortunately it's not that long.




Have much good weekends!

The Decision Making Flowchart

As those that know me may or may not be aware, I am a big fan of turning that mother out. This is a pretty accurate description of my thought process on the weekend....

VELOCIRAPTORS

We interrupt your regularly scheduled ICE CREAM to bring you an important message from the American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention.

Velociraptor attack is the 3rd leading cause of death for men age 27-29. However, everyone must think about the implications of velociraptors: young and old, men, women and transgendered persons.

The American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention is a bi-partisan group of professionals, dedicated to the diffusion of knowledge concerning velociraptor attack prevention.

Know the Enemy

The velociraptor is a bipedal carnivore with a long, stiffened tail and can be distinguished from other dromaeosaurids by its long and low skull, with an upturned snout. It bores a relatively large, sickle-shaped claw, typical of dromaeosaurid and troodontid dinosaurs. This enlarged claw, up to 67 millimeters (2.6 in) long around its outer edge, is a predatory device, used to tear into the prey, delivering a fatal blow.

Velociraptors are commonly found on tropical islands, converted to millionarie amusement parks, but are commonly being sighted in the Pacific Northwest. Of the essential facts you should know about velociraptors:

• Velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around its prey.
• Velociraptors can accelerate 4 m/s², with a top speed of 25 m/s on open terrain, 10 m/s while wounded, and 10 m/s in indoor labratories.
• Velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. They can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.
• Velociraptors do not know fear.

New Home Buyer Tips

When buying a new home, there are a few things to look out for when assessing potential velociraptor attacks:

1. Check all doors and windows. Doors should be made of solid oak or steel. Windows should have steel bars with spacing smaller than the av erage raptor.
2. Make sure all entryways have adequate deadbolts. Quality deadbolts may be purchased at your local Home Depot.
3. Always keep a loaded big-game rifle under your bed, and tire irons near every door. Remember, you should never be farther than 20 feet away from a tire iron.