Flynn's Wedding: A Tatter's Story (Chapter 2: London)

After leaving Iceland, the fellowship moved onto London, England only to find that nearby, in Brussels, Belgium another creature was close on their tale that went by the name of Brentum.

London was atrocious. The hostel we stayed at had 6 people in it and it was like fucking 100 degrees in there. We spent the night in Leicester Square around Coventry Street. The place was pretty beat actually. We went to a handful of bars and got reasonable drunk by the end of the night.

I'm not a huge fan of England and all. We hit up the London Eye; which is a big ass fucking ferris wheel in the heart of London. Here's the thing about the London Eye. It take about 10 years to get your ticket. Then it takes another 20 years to make your way through the line. They check your backpack and purses before getting on the ferris wheel. My suggestion is this: There aren't any bathrooms while you are waiting in line and you can't bring booze on the trip. Pound a shit-ton of liquor prior to going on this fucker. You buy the tickets before getting in line for the ferris wheel. There aren't any bars in the area so you might have to buy a bottle before going on this. Also, Cadbury discontinued Fingers of Fudge; so don't waste your time looking for them. The London Eye does give you good shots of Parliment (minus the Funkadelic), Big Ben and other shit people find profound. It was at this time the three, Wallagrim Took, Tatdo Butagins, and Samwise Plumgee found their nemesis, Rat Tail. This fucking kid got on our last nerve. First off, he had a rat tail. And secondly, he had a fucking rat tail. The goddamn nerve. I wanted to smack him AND his parents. Rumor has it that he was adopted and his parents were raised by goddamn fucking apes! Like, what the fuck!?! Rat tails? In this day and age?

During the ferris wheel trip, the cart got to a temperature of 1 zillion degrees Kelvin or "hot as balls" Centigrade to the layman. Like how could it be legal to have a cart that hot, seriously? Needless to say, the fellowship noticed that Brentum was close on their track and they had to get the fuck out of Dodge! So they hightailed it the fuck outta England and made their way to Amsterdam where they would, no doubt, lose Brentum and continue their journey.

Will they be safe in Amsterdam?