Are you into Role-Playing?

I've played the majority of the Final Fantasy games so I can say that I'm into role-playing. Or so I thought.

So I'm living with this family that has a 4-year old daughter. She likes to play. I do not. I'm sort of a grouchy old man. Handsome as fuck. Charming, yes. Which is a wonderful segway into my latest role-playing. Get your head outta the gutter.

Here's the rundown of this ordeal I literally just went through. (I'm certain you can find when I took the storyline)

I'm Prince Mike Charming and my girlfriend is Cinderella.
I get tied up and can't escape until I use my laser.
I use my laser and escape and the Witch gets angry and ties up Cinderella.
She goes to use her laser but find out its unfortunately gone; the Witch took it and boiled it which rendered it useless.
In an attempt to save the princess I must drink a potion locked inside a wiffleball which will give me superhuman powers.
Somehow the potion is actually a sleeping potion which makes me lay on a hammock for a short duration.
Once I finally wake up I go, rather sleepily to save the princess. (Did I mention this happened right after dinner?)
I go to recharge my laser cuz it the battery died. I put the new batteries in and it took about 10 minutes to charge.
I go to use a key provided by the 4-year old to find out it doesn't work on the rusty barrel, I mean door to the dungeon.
I go get another key to find out it also doesn't work. (What the fuck, right?)
By this time the princess is already free and getting chased by the Witch. I carefully follow the chase at a slow speed and decent distance.
Finally after much hesitation, I kiss the princess to save her and eat pie.
(the pie was my idea)