Are you into Role-Playing?

I've played the majority of the Final Fantasy games so I can say that I'm into role-playing. Or so I thought.

So I'm living with this family that has a 4-year old daughter. She likes to play. I do not. I'm sort of a grouchy old man. Handsome as fuck. Charming, yes. Which is a wonderful segway into my latest role-playing. Get your head outta the gutter.

Here's the rundown of this ordeal I literally just went through. (I'm certain you can find when I took the storyline)

I'm Prince Mike Charming and my girlfriend is Cinderella.
I get tied up and can't escape until I use my laser.
I use my laser and escape and the Witch gets angry and ties up Cinderella.
She goes to use her laser but find out its unfortunately gone; the Witch took it and boiled it which rendered it useless.
In an attempt to save the princess I must drink a potion locked inside a wiffleball which will give me superhuman powers.
Somehow the potion is actually a sleeping potion which makes me lay on a hammock for a short duration.
Once I finally wake up I go, rather sleepily to save the princess. (Did I mention this happened right after dinner?)
I go to recharge my laser cuz it the battery died. I put the new batteries in and it took about 10 minutes to charge.
I go to use a key provided by the 4-year old to find out it doesn't work on the rusty barrel, I mean door to the dungeon.
I go get another key to find out it also doesn't work. (What the fuck, right?)
By this time the princess is already free and getting chased by the Witch. I carefully follow the chase at a slow speed and decent distance.
Finally after much hesitation, I kiss the princess to save her and eat pie.
(the pie was my idea)

ive seen television (part 1)

So I am lodged up in a shitty hotel room with less excitement than I'm accustomed to. So I've taken comfort in the old idiot box and goddamn is it bad. I take particular enjoyment from infomercials.

In one particular instance they were selling concealing make up for women; one issue being red blotches. Their celebrity spokeswoman said that people ask her how her face was so perfect and she said SHE had a secret. Intrigued I listened on. And she told us her secret. She said that her secret was that she literally airbrushed her splotches away. Uh...literally airbrushed them away? What does that have to do with make-up? People are stupid. Until I find something else thy makes me pity the human race....

Box Head: The Savior

Every so often you come across a man, dare I say a savior, that encompasses a true feeling and understanding of a place.

My hat, or box goes off to Box Head. Some drunken hillbilly I saw at the bowling alley. God rest your moonshine soaked bones.

All I can say is that it takes a lot of balls to go around like this in public in your mid-thirties. At home? Yes. Out around town on a Wednesday? Lord NO!

Bonfire

The latest..... UPDATE:

-Saturday the 31st
-Fiesta Island Meet @ MNiJ/K8/JOB/and the aptly named Sir Notappearinginthisblog's house
-Time: 6:00-10pm

Supplies:
Firewood, Grill, BYOB and Food, S'mores, Blankets, Chairs, Entertainment

Let's get a list of who all is going so we can divide who brings what...

For Sure:
Me
Plumazing
My Name is Jonas
Freak Out
Karen
K8
Konkey Dong
Andy
Wally
Henry
Marek
Erin

Not Attending:
JOB
Marc
Flynn
Sarah

who am I forgetting? Anyone?


[My Name is Jonas]
I'm game for Saturday the 31st. How about we set the starting time for around 6:30? That way it's early enough to get there and cook some food. We can all meet at my place and those people with SUVs can drive. I think that's me and Plumazing, maybe FlynnDiesel. Someone else want to pick up firewood? We can either buy several packs from Vons/Costco or we can relieve Vons of their excess pallets.

As for food, we don't need to do anything extravagant. I'm thinking sausages, hamburgers, and perhaps kabobs for the meat sensitive folks in the group. We'll need to bring a grill, too. If we're doing the fire thing, we might want to bring marshmallows, chocolate bars, and graham crackers. How can I have some more if I haven't had any yet?

Drinks? We can have a cooler full of non-alcoholic beverages and some liquor bottles and beers stashed in the cars. As long as we don't have any cans/bottles on the beach, I think we can get away with it. Plus, we can probably see cops coming from a mile away on Fiesta Island.

As for entertainment, I'm thinking the standards... football, frisbee, horseshoes, boombox (or car stereo), guitars, drumbox. We'll need a bunch of chairs and a few blankets.

Am I forgetting anything?

Oh, right...




How could I forget Tyrannosaurus flying an F-14? ....Awesome...

Are there girls there???

I had to post this before I forgot...

Friday ICE CREAM!!! ...or... Candy?

My 10 year old cousin told me about this... just wow.

The last line could be worth all the buildup. Until then, there's a lot of WTF??? going on.