Well then allow me to retort...

Not now chief, I'm in the fuckin' zone

Crab Cake Sandwiches???

Nobody's written in a while. That makes My Name is Jonas a sad blogger.

Anyway, I'm no better.

It's been pretty much a useless work day... half the company is already on vacation, those that are here aren't doing jack or shit. I've already read up on all the news at ESPN, checked up on the Clemson Tiger newsboards, read a handful of online comics, and checked my college football blog... and I've been here for less than two hours. Days like today make me wonder why they even pay me.

Anyway, after I wasted the first part of my morning, I decided to get some work done... so I went and chatted with my assistant about non-work related things. (nicely done, My Name is Jonas... nicely done) Somehow it came up that she was going to order crab cake sandwiches for lunch. My gut reaction went like this... "Crab cake sandwiches???? Get the fuck out!!!!" Probably not very professional, but I couldn't really help myself. Which leads me to my obligatory nod to internet pop culture....



So, what's the haps tonight? I'm probably getting out of Dresden before 2, so... holla.

God, I hate Matt Ryan

That is all...

Oh, Lord, this is stupid...

First of all... I'm wasted. It's 2:3o, i just had too many shots of jager, and if i remember correctly (and that's a stretch right now), i just left a present in our former neighbors' front porch. Ugh. It hurts.

Anyway, besides the fact that it's amazing that I can even effing type correctly right now, I found an amazing video. A couple of my recent posts have incorporated pictures or kitsch from popular culture, but I suppose I'll adopt that as my thang... whatever. I own that. Well, here's my new fetish... white chicks with gang signs.




So retarded and yet... I want them. They flash the ghetto shit and i wanna get wit' it. Lean wit' it and rock wit' it. Is that so wrong??? FUCK YOU... I didn't want your opinion any damn way.

Right now I love the fact that I'm going to regret this in the morning.

While I'm at it... I'm going to personally guarantee that we beat Boston College. I've had too much to drink, I don't know the players, BC is as motivated as we are to get to the ACC Championship, but fuck it. We're going to win. We started Matt Ryan's career by actually killing him, and we can end it, too. See exhibit A:



Trust me, he died during that hit. Dunham laid the wood so hard that he was KILLED. However, since then he has lived as the dead to ruin the season of many an ACC opponent *ahem, Virginia Tech, cough*. He doesn't seem to know how to lose. Except for maybe to Maryland. Or to some old fart named Bobby. But fuck those discrepancies. Doesn't matter. He still doesn't know how to REALLY lose. We'll just assume that BC was kicking it to rest up for the divisional championship vs. CU. We beat both of those teams this year, and we'll show Matty Ice to the loser's bracket FOR REAL for real.

Then we're coming for you, Virginia Tech. Like a thief in the night... who might die mid-mission. I don't know. I can't guarantee that win. Even drunk, I'm not a complete idiot.

Anyway, I feel the need to leave you with hot women. Call me generous. Don't say the Jason never gave ya nothin'........





aaaaaand because i think i love her....



Alright, drunk and sleep. Peace out, bitches...

mnij

This is the problem I have...

I highly doubt that anyone else has this problem but this is the kinda stuff that toils on my mind day in and day out. First off, like most people, I sorta have mixed reviews about my job. I like money however I don't enjoy doing any work ever. Example being, I was buying some clothes Friday, the the retail mistress at the checkout had asked me "How are you doing today?" I shook my head in disgust and sorrow and said "Not too good here lady." "What's wrong?" "Well, I was playing Madden earlier and I beat the Saints to finish off my regular season then simulated the Wildcard playoffs (I had already clinched a playoff spot) and inadvertantly simulated the rest of the season, losing to the Seahwaks in the first round of the playoffs." I mean, she was at work and THIS was the worst thing that happened to me all day, excluding my dimishing stockade of champagne. So I felt sorta bad. But this isn't the problem I have. The problem I have is this. Okay, I know some of you guys wear you fancy button down shirts/suits, or a nice little polo shirt to work. Here's my typical work attire. A flannel I picked up at Goodwill, covering a plain white Hanes Shirt, with or without coffee or grease stains, and a pair of ripped jeans and a pair of Chucks (and socks adn underwear of course). In "Life's Little Instruction Manual" is says "Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want." Previously, I was doing neither. However, It got me to thinking, "Ya know, I'm a 27 year old engineer and sometimes when I'm superhungover and go to 7-11 for some snacks in this attire, I may be construed as homeless. Point made, so maybe should dress nicer to work. And this is my problem. I been picking up some collared shrts that are nice enough to wear to work, it's a step up. But I don't liek these shirts enough to wear in a social setting. And typically, these shirts cost more than my social setting shirts. So in essence, I am spending more money of workshirts that I don't even like, than my regular shirts. Now I know what you're saying "Why don't you just buy workshirts that you like enough to wear outside of work?" I'm not gonna wear a collared shirt outside of work unless I'm going to court or church (Hold me to this!). Now I can't very well buy cheaper shirts cuz I will utterly hate them, and financially speaking, that is fucking nuts! Also, I can;t wear shirts I like to work cuz I'll get them dirty with grease and holes. Case in point, my barrybostwickband shirt, the old black one, I ruined my previous one and was on my last one and wore it to work, "It's black," I figured, "it can't get greasy." And sure as shit in your poop chute, I ripped it on something.

It just fucking sucks, that I have to spend money on clothes that I won't wear outside of work and like, just enough, for them to potentially get ruined at owrk.

Blog Boner

All this recent action is getting me excited... Enjoy.

Women are like Bears

And I don't mean in the sense that Stephen Colbert does when he talks about bears...

A recent work observation is that lately not very many women have been coming down to the food court to eat luch. During the warmer Spring and Summer months the female professional can be found in that habitat quite frequently. The female professionals travel in pacts and will dress up to make themselves more attractive to the male professional so that interaction such as mingling or flirting will be conductive.

When the cooler Fall and Winter months set in the female professional seems to all but disappear from the habitat. It would seem that they have filled themselves with all the calories they will need during the warmer months in preparation for the long winter slumber or hibernation. This year the cooler temperatures have set in early and the male professionals have been left to feed by themselves, it will surely be a long Fall and Winter for the hungry males.

Welcome to the party

Konkey Dong... welcome to the party. How nice of you to join us.

So you know the drill around here, each one of us posts about once every.... three weeks. In the meantime, we bitch about everyone else not posting. It's a good time.

And with this weak post, I will leave you with this: the effects of drinking entirely too many shots of whiskey...