Washington Redskins Do It Again!!!

Not a week goes past where the Washington Redskins do not make a complete mockery of the National Football League. First, they signed Super Bowl "Legend" quarterback Rex "Sexxx Cannon" Grossman over a bar bet lost by Mike Shanahan to the devil in March 2010.

In order to distract the American population from this embarrassment, Washington signed veteran running backs Larry Johnson and Willie Parker. Now the Washington Redskins have an elite running back situation...if the year was 2006. Including Clinton Portis, the trio combined for over 1,000 yards rushing and scoring somewhere between zero and two rushing touchdowns. Nice!

After being the laughing stock of the league, the Redskins now nabbed veteran quarterback Donovan McNabb, making the Washington Redskins the new NFL quarterback club, and I personally LOVE it. Very classy move by the Washington Redskins. Now stuffing the team with quarterbacks, the five of them totaling 144 years of age (which goes up by 5 a year).

This begs a better question; "Who is Richard Bartel from Tarleton State?" (besides the future of the Redskins franchise?) They call him "the Kid", the youngest quarterback on the team (after they cut Colt Brennan) who ages 27 years old and...zero snaps.

Now, 144 sounds like a large number for total years of quarterback experience, but that is just a shade over the combined years of the top three starting running back on the 'Skins. (The Washington Redskins still haven't acknowledged Willie Parker to be on their roster)

Washington fans; please keep in mind it is always darkest before the dawn and although it will seem long, the football season is only a few months. See ya at the combine in 2011.

ive seen television (part 1)

So I am lodged up in a shitty hotel room with less excitement than I'm accustomed to. So I've taken comfort in the old idiot box and goddamn is it bad. I take particular enjoyment from infomercials.

In one particular instance they were selling concealing make up for women; one issue being red blotches. Their celebrity spokeswoman said that people ask her how her face was so perfect and she said SHE had a secret. Intrigued I listened on. And she told us her secret. She said that her secret was that she literally airbrushed her splotches away. Uh...literally airbrushed them away? What does that have to do with make-up? People are stupid. Until I find something else thy makes me pity the human race....

This Seriously Happened

I'm going to get Little Caesar's the other day with my pal A.J. (Arizona Jeans) and next door is a T-Mobile store. I'm not one to ask anyone questions because I'd a large advocate of figuring shit out yourself. The Hot and Ready Pizza we ordered was neither "hot" nor "ready" so we had time to kill. Againt my better judgement I went into the T-Mobile store inquiring about upgrading my plan and how because it is a phone hosted through Google it wasn't able to accomplish this via their website. The vendor in the T-Mobile store, a simple man in his mid-thirties, said, and I quote:

"Hmmm...I'm not sure. You might want to call customer support. They can probably tell you."

WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'M DOING HERE!?!?!

Plummer and Dos

who wants to be the pied piper?

Oh, the humanity!!!

I have looked at this picture every day for the past week or so, and I bust out laughing every time I see it... I don't know if any of you will think it's nearly as funny as I do, but I need to put this somewhere so I don't lose it.

Mr O'Reilly flips the fuck out

I know what you are sayin', "Dude, we've seen this months ago, its getting OLD". But out with the old, in with the NEW. The following is two clips: the first, the classic Bill O'Reilly video. The second? Perfection. Please watch the first one first to remind yourself of the original video.



I hope you watched the top video first



On an unrelated note, the guy who showed be this spins.

Crab Cake Sandwiches???

Nobody's written in a while. That makes My Name is Jonas a sad blogger.

Anyway, I'm no better.

It's been pretty much a useless work day... half the company is already on vacation, those that are here aren't doing jack or shit. I've already read up on all the news at ESPN, checked up on the Clemson Tiger newsboards, read a handful of online comics, and checked my college football blog... and I've been here for less than two hours. Days like today make me wonder why they even pay me.

Anyway, after I wasted the first part of my morning, I decided to get some work done... so I went and chatted with my assistant about non-work related things. (nicely done, My Name is Jonas... nicely done) Somehow it came up that she was going to order crab cake sandwiches for lunch. My gut reaction went like this... "Crab cake sandwiches???? Get the fuck out!!!!" Probably not very professional, but I couldn't really help myself. Which leads me to my obligatory nod to internet pop culture....



So, what's the haps tonight? I'm probably getting out of Dresden before 2, so... holla.