But Mom, Dad, It's the SAFE way to BREAK AND POP

This kid has got the goods...

It's Coming...

Do we have our roles? Do we have what it takes to be champions?

17 days...


You Got Cubed


Cubed Will Happen.

Bonfire

The latest..... UPDATE:

-Saturday the 31st
-Fiesta Island Meet @ MNiJ/K8/JOB/and the aptly named Sir Notappearinginthisblog's house
-Time: 6:00-10pm

Supplies:
Firewood, Grill, BYOB and Food, S'mores, Blankets, Chairs, Entertainment

Let's get a list of who all is going so we can divide who brings what...

For Sure:
Me
Plumazing
My Name is Jonas
Freak Out
Karen
K8
Konkey Dong
Andy
Wally
Henry
Marek
Erin

Not Attending:
JOB
Marc
Flynn
Sarah

who am I forgetting? Anyone?


[My Name is Jonas]
I'm game for Saturday the 31st. How about we set the starting time for around 6:30? That way it's early enough to get there and cook some food. We can all meet at my place and those people with SUVs can drive. I think that's me and Plumazing, maybe FlynnDiesel. Someone else want to pick up firewood? We can either buy several packs from Vons/Costco or we can relieve Vons of their excess pallets.

As for food, we don't need to do anything extravagant. I'm thinking sausages, hamburgers, and perhaps kabobs for the meat sensitive folks in the group. We'll need to bring a grill, too. If we're doing the fire thing, we might want to bring marshmallows, chocolate bars, and graham crackers. How can I have some more if I haven't had any yet?

Drinks? We can have a cooler full of non-alcoholic beverages and some liquor bottles and beers stashed in the cars. As long as we don't have any cans/bottles on the beach, I think we can get away with it. Plus, we can probably see cops coming from a mile away on Fiesta Island.

As for entertainment, I'm thinking the standards... football, frisbee, horseshoes, boombox (or car stereo), guitars, drumbox. We'll need a bunch of chairs and a few blankets.

Am I forgetting anything?

Oh, right...




How could I forget Tyrannosaurus flying an F-14? ....Awesome...

Friday ICE CREAM!!! ...or... Candy?

My 10 year old cousin told me about this... just wow.

The last line could be worth all the buildup. Until then, there's a lot of WTF??? going on.

This weekend.

So... I hate office work. I hate it even more now that I get to spend most of my time out of it. I don't mean to bitch, but I've had a taste of freedom and it... is... delicious.

I only write this to make one minor point. I say we make this weekend look like this scene....



RAMPAGE!!!!! I call the Wolf.

You know I'm going to have to run now... right?

OK... So I've put this off long enough. The address for this site is arrestednaked, so it's time I talk about how our beloved blog got its name.

A couple years ago I was celebrating my friend Joe's 21st birthday with him. I believe he and I were the last ones at the bar. We were shiiiiitcanned, but I persuaded the bartender to give us one more shot on behalf of Joe's birthday. He gave us a pine tree. I should have known what it was from the name... it was straight gin. I effing hate gin. If I were dying of thirst and I was offered gin, I would sooner die. Anyway, I blame the following story on that last shot...

Joe and I leave the bar, which was just off campus, and head back to our apartments on campus. On the way home, I realize that it's my last semester (or should have been) and I had never gone skinny-dipping in the reflection pond. I think it's necessary to do that before you graduate Clemson. No shit, I think it goes on your transcripts. I can't remember if Joe was for it or against it as I was a little fuzzy at the time, but we went for it.

So off we go into the reflection pond. We swim around for a while, good times. We're pretty much cracking up. I remember thinking "this was a really good idea!" If there's one thing I've learned from all of my drinking, it's that when I say that drunk, it's really not. Our pleasant swim is interrupted by a security guard at the library that overlooks the pond. He tells us to get out of there, we oblige. Then I had another really good idea. Instead of putting my clothes back on, I was going to streak across campus back home (even though i HAD done that before). And by streak, I mean casually walk with Joe.

We make it about halfway home without much ado besides me playfully chasing a couple of girls that were also taking a drunken stroll home. They were not naked. Sadly. Then a... we'll say ample... female security guard calls out to us.

"Hey, you... um, COME HERE!"

I look back surprised and point at myself, a puzzled look on my face like I don't actually know who she's talking to... Me? Joe? Joe? Me? She is not amused.

I stroll up to her, as casually as I had been walking with Joe, wearing a drunken smile, half-closed eyes, and little else. "Yeah, what's up?"

"What are you... why don't you have your clothes on? You... you know I'm gonna have to call the cops now, right?"

I look at her... weigh my options (kind of)... and decide on my reply.
"You... know I'm gonna have to run now... right???"

Right there, in all my glory, I strike a Heisman... my clothes as my football, my pose as the stupidest person in intramural college football. I bolt.

I'm fairly close to home, so I feel I have a good shot at making it. I hit Cherry road, one of the streets that partitions actual campus from the on-campus apartments, and in the corner of my eye there are two cop cars with their lights flashing coming up on me quick. I get across the street, and instead of taking the stairs, i hop over a little brick wall and run down a hill into the apartment area where I lived. If I had any sense at all, I would have run home or to Plumazing's apartment, both of which were nearby. But I had no sense at all. The cops are chasing me, although they're fat and slow. I run down the next hill (Clemson's in the hills, yeah boooyyyy!) One of the cops falls down the hill. It's hilarious. I'm still running, but I have a hard time running and laughing, so I actually trip up, too. Showing INCREDIBLE coordination for being as intoxicated as I was, I roll through a somersault back into a full-blown run. Didn't miss a beat. I'm still waiting for the Espy. I get to the other side of this mini-valley and start running up the stairs, but two more cop cars converge on the on the other side.

Shit. Apparently, cops have walky-talkies. Apparently, with four units on my case, the cops in Clemson have little else to do on a Tuesday night except chase naked men around campus. Apparently, Gay. I tried to run into a little wooded area to my left, but I get tripped up pretty quickly (this was a bad idea... i later had poison ivy ON MY ASS). I'm effed in the A, so I throw my hands up and admit to all the cops that "I'm retarded." They were gracious enough to let me put my clothes back on before they cuffed me. Thanks...

On the way to the car, the adrenaline gave me the chance to think clearly if only for a second... I wonder if I'm gonna be charged with indecent exposure. I didn't exactly want to be labeled a sex offender, so I ask...
"So... what am I being charged with?"

I guess I wasn't thinking TOO clearly in the way I asked. The cop busted out laughing and says to all his buddies...
"HA! The kid wants to know why he's being arrested."

Sigh... shit.

So that's my story. Striking a Heisman in the middle of campus, fully nude, was either the low point or the high point of my college career. Over three years later, I still haven't decided which...

This is a really good idea...

Wanna know how to tell if something is a really bad idea when you're drunk?

Let's see how long this lasts.

Friends, bring it on.