BOB SAGET!

My Acting Debut

I had to trim the beard down a little for this one but this proves J.O.B. isn't the only member of the group with acting talent.

CATS!!!!

"Here lies Tyler Taylor. MEH."

The 2010 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25

By Drew Magary, Aug 24, 2010 10:15 AM

It's that time of year again. College football is less than two weeks away, and that means we're due for a whole new round of PURE COUNTRY HATIN'.

I love watching college football. If it had a playoff, it would be the perfect sport. It has everything you need: asshole coaches, shady boosters, drunken girls with big cans, and HATE. Tons and tons and tons of unbridled hate. Schools hating schools. States hating states. Towns hating towns. They don't even know why they hate each other so much, but they do! And that's what makes it such good hate. If you knew why you hated something, that means you'd have more trouble justifying it to yourself. And I don't like the idea of that at all. I like that hate to go unquestioned, free roam and burn as it pleases.

Best of all, many college football fans are college age men between the ages of 18 and 22. And lemme tell you something, there are no better haters out there than men that age. You talk about a worthless and vile segment of humanity. Guys that age are fucking DICKS. They get drunk. They yell. They start fights. They bite women. They're spectacularly awful human beings. And every Saturday, they huddle up Delta Fuckface Douchilon at 7AM to drink Popov and paddle each other on the ass, specifically so that they can be as drunk and obnoxious as humanly possible once game time hits. They say some of the meanest, dumbest, most horrible shit you can imagine. And that's what makes college football so pantshittingly kickass.

So, with that in mind, let's run down the Top 25 and say hateful, awful things about every team and state involved. Keep in mind, I know next to NOTHING about most of these teams. But that's precisely the point. Ignorance is hate's most precious asset. It's your chance to work up a good hate lather before the season gets into full swing. As always, I use the AP poll, because the coaches poll is retarded. Let's go.

1. Alabama: Oh hey, look who's numero uno. It's Orange Satan and his little fiefdom of tardbilly mouthbreathers. I liked the Tide much better back in the old days, when Mike DuBose was bending receptionists over his desk. I don't need the state of Alabama to have any pride whatsoever. They should never be allowed to feel good about themselves. What the fuck do you half-human mongoloid overall-wearing chimps have to be proud of? Congrats, your team finally won another title last year. That means you are now one year closer to Nick Saban bolting for Michigan and leaving you to pick up the pieces of your pathetic, awful, and empty lives, the kind of pointless existence that makes membership in the Aryan Nation all but an inevitability. And you know Bear Bryant? He's still fucking DEAD. Super dead. Forever. Alabama is America's ass hair.

2. Ohio State: Oh, sweet fucking Jesus, you people again? Haven't you people pissed away enough titles? Shouldn't you be banished to NAIA so that we don't have to see you lose the national title by 47 points to an SEC team? It's because of YOU that people from the South are actually starting to feel good about themselves again. That is crap.

I've been to Columbus. It's the kind of place no one would ever live voluntarily. You either live there because you can't afford to live anywhere else, or because the judge put a travel restriction on your DUI probation. Tear the roof off a fucking Houlihan's, expand the size of it to 50 square miles, and that's Columbus. Just one big generic pile of shit. They should have just named it "City."

3. Boise State: America's Sweethearts, my ass. I'll be damned if I'm cheering from some dipshit team from the middle of Idaho. Let me ask you something: If everyone in Idaho died tomorrow, would you care? I mean, just DIED. A virus sweeps across the state and wipes out every last man, woman, and baby. Every Idahoan, dead in a puddle of their own shit and liquefied organs. Would you really give a crap? I say no. Oh, I'd turn on the news and say, "Oh, shit! All the Idaho people are dead. That sucks." Then I'd turn off the TV and eat a box of Teddy Grahams. I'd pretend to care in my mind, so that I wouldn't feel like the really shitty person that I am. But deep down? I wouldn't care. I wouldn't even care if I had relatives living there. If they were living in Idaho, they were probably relatives of mine that were all fucking weird and creepy and lived in a compound. Or they were insufferable outdoorsy assholes. Or they were rich fuckers who skied. Either way, Idaho is pointless.

4. Florida: I actually bear no ill will to you, Florida. I hope you have a fine season, until October comes around and it's the fourth quarter of a tight game and Urban Meyer's head fucking BLOWS UP all over the sideline. Just a massive explosion that shatters his whole head, sending out little globs of brain and blood all over the Dazzlers. Then the replay gets on the web and they have to interview Tebow at Denver Bronco headquarters and he's all crying and shit because Urban was like a Dad to him and he's saying it's okay because he's home with Jesus now and GAHHH HE SHOULD HAVE JUST QUIT! BUT NOW HE'S DEAD! WHAT WILL HIS KIDS DO NOW? GAHHHHHH!

So I'm looking forward to that. Also, you are pussies.

5. Texas: Oh, you Austinites. So goddamn pleased with yourselves. Ooh, loogit us! We have indie movies and indie music and indie food carts and indie pencils! You know what? I don't like indie things. I don't like Animal Collective. I saw Half Nelson, and it was a piece of shit. I like movies and songs that look and sound like they cost more than four dollars to make. And if they come hipster-free, then all the better. You people are the fucking Williamsburg of Texas, and that isn't a compliment. Though I do like that Sam Acho. It's like his last name is a suffix for all good Latino things: macho, nacho, muchacho, Comacho, borracho… Great name. But you are still ASS.

6. TCU: Every year, TCU plays archrival SMU in a game known as the Battle for the Iron Skillet. Oooh! Hold me back! YOU TALK ABOUT A RIVALRY! I can't wait to see which uptight Christian Texas asshole school this year gets to lay claim to a T-Fal nonstick pan. WHO WILL FRY THE FIRST EGG OF SWEET VICTORY? Count me in!

7. Oklahoma, 8. Nebraska: I don't even know why we bother to differentiate states like Oklahoma from Kansas or Nebraska. Shouldn't these all just be lumped into one giant, shitty state? We don't even have to call it a state. We can just call the US Central Territories. It could appear on maps as a giant black block. Just ignore this section, world. Mind our appearance while we renovate so that it doesn't look like the arid, man-zombie landscape it currently is. We'll replace it with a Michael Kors outlet store by 2015.

9. Iowa: Oh, look! It's the Big Ten's rapiest team! No wonder Christian Peter's alma mater wanted to join this conference so very badly. Iowa is the number one producer of corn among all American states. Many of its farmers are heavily subsidized to grow corn, turn that corn into syrup, and then rape every other foodstuff in the grocery store with that syrup so that you and your kids get fatter and fatter and fatter until you look just like everyone who lives in Iowa. Want to know why you can't resist that Mr. Pibb, tubby? FARMER BOB IS YOUR MAN. I also blame Iowa for Field of Dreams, and all the losers who tell me I don't have a heart if I don't like Field of Dreams. Well, fuck THAT. That movie was gay.

10. Virginia Tech: I'm really tired of this team being a "dark horse" national title contender. Pencil them in for 10 boring-as-fuck wins and a forgettable bowl victory and let's never speak of them again. Know why every analyst creams his jeans watching your special teams? Because watching your offense is like trying to watch two fat people buttfuck without lubricant.

And now, we fly through the rest.

11. Oregon: I had a bunch of nice things to say about this team, but Jeremiah Masoli stole my laptop. But I look forward to another year of this team wearing unis that give Japanese children Parkinson's disease. Also, the people of Oregon are Beaver-toothed, bike-riding fuckfaces.

12. Wisconsin: Fatties. THIS GUIDE IS NOT FOR PRINTING AND THEN SLATHERING WITH WISPRIDE AND THEN EATING.

13. Miami (FL): Just a reminder of the delightful folks who cheer on the Hurricanes, i.e., Jewish people from Long Island who believe rooting for the Hurricanes somehow makes them black gangsters. From reader Torch Ramrod:

Yep, he's a Cane through and through. Thirty bucks says that guy has never seen the inside of the Orange Bowl.

14. USC: Oh, what an enjoyable downfall this will be. It's like the Larry Smith Era is about to happen all over again! And what a joy that was. I can't think of a more vacant, inane, self-involved, VD-ridden, dipshit Land Rover-driving student body for it all to happen to. I fucking hate the disaffected, stuck-up attitude of these pricks. So unimpressed with everything but themselves. The tombstone of every USC student should read: "Here lies Tyler Taylor. MEH."

15. Pittsburgh: Doesn't this town have the Steelers? No one fucking cares about the college team. No wonder Wannstedt is still your head coach. A fucking moose in a trenchcoat could walk the sidelines for your team and no one would notice.

16. Georgia Tech: Don't care. Jesus, remember when the ACC added Miami and Virginia Tech and it would supposed to be this big superconference? That all went to shit, didn't it? It's like someone decided to expand the NFC West to 12 teams.

17. Arkansas: Good Lord, Bobby Petrino is the sleaziest bag of shit to ever walk the Earth. He's like the white Isiah Thomas.

18. North Carolina: Why don't you and Duke go in the closet and make ugly children together already?

19. Penn State: Listen, I don't wanna say mean things about Joe Paterno. He's a national treasure and a sweet old man. But he's gonna poop himself on the sidelines this year. He is. Someone will ask him over the headset if he's happy with the defensive formation and he's not gonna hear them because he'll be too busy unloading into the cheesecloth he wrapped around his Jockeys. Then he'll have to stay still the entire half so that no one will know, with poop running down his gimpy old leg the whole time. Then he's gonna go into the locker room and be like, URRGH I SHIT MYSELF AGAIN, BOYS! Then they'll have to wipe him off and wheel him back out. I don't want that to happen. It's not right. Let the man go out with dignity. Cut his oxygen tank tube.

20. Florida State: Well, well, well. Look who's in charge now. They finally pushed out Bobby Bowden and replaced him with… Jimbo Fisher. Really? You entrusted a storied program to a dude named Jimbo? Did he promise you a free fried possum in exchange for the job? Enjoy the cellar of a forgotten conference, East Alabama.

21. LSU: We should revoke their 2007 title. I know they beat Ohio State, but that shouldn't even count. That is the shittiest national title team ever. Oh, and YOU ARE RAYCESSSSS.

22. Auburn: No one cares. Bama will plow you like Charlie Sheen's third escort of the evening.

23. Georgia: I drove through Georgia this spring, and that whole state looks like a backyard some asshole left unattended.

24. Oregon State: Ah, Eastern Oregon. Harboring America's fugitive serial killers since 1909! THE BROWN RIVER KILLER IS AMONG YOU. (NOTE: To those of you bitching that Corvallis isn't actually in Eastern Oregon, STOP RUINING THE IGNORANCE FOR EVERYONE.)

25. West Virginia: WHO'S UP FOR SOME COUCH BURNIN' AND UNCLE-BONIN'?

And there's your 2010 Hater's Guide to the Top 25. Need to vent on a ranked or unranked team of your choice (NOTREDAMENOTREDAMENOTREDAME), by all means do so in the comments. And get ready for another season of glorious rancor.

We've all been there...

this reminds me of wally at number 2's birthday party at palm springs that i did not go to but figured he looked a little like this.

Dog's logic is infallible.

Your argument is invalid.

Good day.

Happy Mother's Day

This is the time of year to thank the ones who gave us birth.

On a related note, I'm well aware it's nowhere near Mother's Day.

Enjoy.

Wow, does your mommy know your traveling on your own??

So I absolutely never sit next to a hot girl on a plane ride. This is usually because I typically ride Southwest where you can pick you own seats and I come off a little too desperate; no one wants to sit next to a guy with a hard-on. Well finally my dreams have come true. I was parked next to a fantastically attractive blonde, mostly because it was a Delta flight.

So this flight was exactly 22 minutes long; God's greatest ironic doing. So I got 22 minutes to really impress this broad; showtime! Turns out I had a crossword puzzle so what rascally nerd just turned into an educated professional. So I pull out the pen; I pull out the book and roll through that mother from boarding to about 5 minutes into the flight; did I say educated professional genius?

You'd be amazed how fast good goes to shitstorm.

After I finished the puzzle, I close the book and glaring the fuck back at me are the words "Easy: Fast and Fun". Granted these are the same puzzles we've been doing all these years. These really made me feel like a turd; the letters couldn't be any bigger or brighter. I looked like a retard; so that mixed with the crossword puzzle thing, things were not going well for me. This conversation went on in my head...

Oh that's a nice book you have there. Did you do it all on your own?
Yes ma'am. All by myself.
Wow, does your mommy know your traveling on your own??
Fuck you.

Immediately all my confidence shriveled into my tatter nuts and I felt about as big as them.

I totally gave up on this broad that I had no intentions of getting to know in the first place. Her copy of "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang". The fucking nerve of this broad. Bring that book on a plane. Like fucking hide that. In case you don't know about this book, it's written by Chelsea Handler (which I had to google). She's a female COMEDIAN (that's a joke) and late night television host, or some shit. I fucking HATE female comedians. Sooooo much!

So lady on the plane. Fuck you and your whack style, man.

Jersey What!?!?!

Drove to Jersey this weekend. Had to snap a pic of this.

Flynn's Wedding: A Tatter's Story (Chapter 3: Holland)

Moving from London to Holland was a short journey made long. The plane ride was 40 minutes, the delay at the airport was 4 hours. EasyJet didn't have a plane for our journeyers. To compensate for this, they issued Samwise, Tatdo, and Waldoff credits for 3 Euros each. This could almost pay for a snack that Southwest airlines give for free.

Arriving in Amsterdam, our travelers realized that to protect the ring, they needed to split up. So Waldoff went off to a hostel and Samwise and Tatdo headed over to the Eden American hotel. (www.edenamsterdamamericanhotel.com/). This hotel was located in Leidseplein, a district of Amsterdam. The hotel room was the typical "small as fuck" hotels popular in Europe. It is a very friendly, touristy, part of Amsterdam. From the balcony, our travelers were privy to live music and a plethora of bars and eateries. The coffee shops in the surrounding areas were closed for the night, as it was close to 1am (bars closing at 5am) so Samwise and Tatdo were forced to merely get drunk. After a few free shots, some Murphy's Irish Red, and Tabasco sauce, the group was in a state of delirium with a mix of projectile vomiting.

The next day, the two made their way to a place to get some coffee. They couldn't find the Prancing Pony but did find a place called De Rokery. This place had a very mellow atmosphere and a decent selection of pipeweed and hash, even Old Toby. The finest weed in the South Farthing. After staging there for a few hours, Waldoff followed. It was dim and only the inane giggling of Samwise and Tatdo made Waldoff to find our travelers. After some Doner Kebabs and pancakes. They went for a canal trip in an attempt to lose Brentum. On the canal trip, located right outside the Eden American hotel, they saw the Heineken brewery, Anne Frank's house, some slanted houses, and the smallest house in Amsterdam, which was only a doorway thick. Also, the guy giving the tour totally started a fight with another boat and rammed into him; that was sweet.

After the canal ride they met up with Perejob Took and Merrierin Brandybuck. They went up to the travelers hotel room and relaxed, so to speak, and took off to the red light district. First thing to note abotu the red light district is that the hookers are hot as hell. Secondly, the coffee houses, at least the one we went to, was shady as hell. I don't eve n know the name of it but after uttering the words "I feel fucked up", Perejob Took pulled out a move from Don Flemenco, and went face first in the street. His friends scrambling for help, Perejob came to, and after that, the group basically had enough of Holland. The next day included some beers and relaxing.

Feeling Brentum drawing near, they decided to split up again to try and confuse Brentum. Samwise and Tatdo headed to Munich by train and the rest headed to Rome by plane.

Flynn's Wedding: A Tatter's Story (Chapter 2: London)

After leaving Iceland, the fellowship moved onto London, England only to find that nearby, in Brussels, Belgium another creature was close on their tale that went by the name of Brentum.

London was atrocious. The hostel we stayed at had 6 people in it and it was like fucking 100 degrees in there. We spent the night in Leicester Square around Coventry Street. The place was pretty beat actually. We went to a handful of bars and got reasonable drunk by the end of the night.

I'm not a huge fan of England and all. We hit up the London Eye; which is a big ass fucking ferris wheel in the heart of London. Here's the thing about the London Eye. It take about 10 years to get your ticket. Then it takes another 20 years to make your way through the line. They check your backpack and purses before getting on the ferris wheel. My suggestion is this: There aren't any bathrooms while you are waiting in line and you can't bring booze on the trip. Pound a shit-ton of liquor prior to going on this fucker. You buy the tickets before getting in line for the ferris wheel. There aren't any bars in the area so you might have to buy a bottle before going on this. Also, Cadbury discontinued Fingers of Fudge; so don't waste your time looking for them. The London Eye does give you good shots of Parliment (minus the Funkadelic), Big Ben and other shit people find profound. It was at this time the three, Wallagrim Took, Tatdo Butagins, and Samwise Plumgee found their nemesis, Rat Tail. This fucking kid got on our last nerve. First off, he had a rat tail. And secondly, he had a fucking rat tail. The goddamn nerve. I wanted to smack him AND his parents. Rumor has it that he was adopted and his parents were raised by goddamn fucking apes! Like, what the fuck!?! Rat tails? In this day and age?

During the ferris wheel trip, the cart got to a temperature of 1 zillion degrees Kelvin or "hot as balls" Centigrade to the layman. Like how could it be legal to have a cart that hot, seriously? Needless to say, the fellowship noticed that Brentum was close on their track and they had to get the fuck out of Dodge! So they hightailed it the fuck outta England and made their way to Amsterdam where they would, no doubt, lose Brentum and continue their journey.

Will they be safe in Amsterdam?

Flynn's Wedding: A Tatter's Story (Chapter 1: Iceland)

So.

This is a story of a man named Tatdo Butaggins and his friend Samwise Plumgee. They went off on a journey in search of Mount Groom with something involving a ring.

They took off in the middle of the afternoon for a Boston Airport in Bagend on their pilgrimage to Iceland. They arrived after a 4 hour flight on a dragon which was pretty rad cuz it wasn't that late at all. It was a little rainy and took a fucking bus to a bus station outside Reykjavik. It was looking bleak for our handsome, yet tired travelers. When they got to the bus station they asked some broad how to get to downtown, cuz they took a bus to "downtown" and this clearly wasn't it. From there they took a cab ride to an arbitrary location in downtown Reykjavik. (For future reference, its only like a 15 minute walk away and it not needed). When they arrived downtown they did their best to blend in with the locals.

They found a hostel which was right downtown for about 35$ per person per night. The room had a private bathroom and was very spacious. Can't find the name of the place...so sorry about that. It was too early to check in so Samwise and myself went off to a Koffitar, which is a coffee chain. It was some wireless and some good coffee and carrot cake. They people were nice. (http://www.kaffitar.is/)

We left our bags at the hostel and headed off to the Blue Lagoon. The Blue Lagoon is a naturally heated lagoon located about a 30 minutes drive from downtown Reykjavik. It costs about 50$ to get there and get admitted to the Lagoon. The water is about 90 degrees and the water is clean. It is not clear; you can only see about 6 inches below the surface. Silica get congeals on the rocks and the workers harvest it and you put that shit on your fucking face to exfoliate or something. You can believe how fucking bright this lagoon is. They also have about 5 saunas there. The furthest left is a cave design and is totally legit. You can rent towels there and there are changing rooms with free lockers but be prepared to see some serious balls. Fucking Europeans.

We got back to downtown Reykjavik and hit up the streets. The streets are really nice and the city itself was not too busy. They seem to get down on seafood, which i suppose makes sense. We didn't do much shopping but partook in some of the watering holes. These places ranged from a bar featuring a Terminator 2 pinball machine to a bar where we saw 4 bands play Icelandic music. Some of the local beers tasted was Viking, Thule, and Kaldi. All of them will get you drunk. Our travelers ended the night at some bar and the thing is that it got a little fuzzy. I will tell you that there's was a well of fortune. Essentially you pay 250 Krone (2$) and they spin the wheel sitting above the bar. Less than half of the results are "You Lose", the rest includes things like "8 Beers", "a meter of beer", "two shots", etc. Unfortunately, for our travelers, we had lost both times; however, we were fucking drunk. We chatted it up with some locals and then there were these two broads that started touching themselves, which I thought was pretty cool. THEY were pretty cool. Then the one's boyfriend showed up and the bar closed, so they gave out plastic cups for people to pour their remaining beer in so they can take the beer home with them. Clever.

The thing about Reykjavik is that during the summer solstice, you have four hours or night, during the winter, 4 hours of daylight. So the sun went down around 11:00 PM, immediately after the night got dark, the sun proceeded to rise.

We seized the day after that and headed off for some mild sightseeing and to get back to the bus station. A large church whose significance is unimportant was located a short walk from downtown and visible from the bus station. I guess they hold mass there and some people could get married there. However, it looks like a cool place to play laser tag. We continued the trek down to the bus station and saw a pretty rad fountain. also. He actually holding a fish, but you get the idea.

But Iceland was wonderful. It was the only part of our trip plagued with rain, but the cool wet air in contrast with the Blue Lagoon made it very enjoyable. Stuff was relatively cheap. Coffee houses were nice and relaxing. They have plenty of things to do, such as horseback riding around the volcanoes and hiking up mountains and shit.

With the eye of Sauron drawing near, our travelers must flee Iceland for safer passage.

Where will they go???

Are you into Role-Playing?

I've played the majority of the Final Fantasy games so I can say that I'm into role-playing. Or so I thought.

So I'm living with this family that has a 4-year old daughter. She likes to play. I do not. I'm sort of a grouchy old man. Handsome as fuck. Charming, yes. Which is a wonderful segway into my latest role-playing. Get your head outta the gutter.

Here's the rundown of this ordeal I literally just went through. (I'm certain you can find when I took the storyline)

I'm Prince Mike Charming and my girlfriend is Cinderella.
I get tied up and can't escape until I use my laser.
I use my laser and escape and the Witch gets angry and ties up Cinderella.
She goes to use her laser but find out its unfortunately gone; the Witch took it and boiled it which rendered it useless.
In an attempt to save the princess I must drink a potion locked inside a wiffleball which will give me superhuman powers.
Somehow the potion is actually a sleeping potion which makes me lay on a hammock for a short duration.
Once I finally wake up I go, rather sleepily to save the princess. (Did I mention this happened right after dinner?)
I go to recharge my laser cuz it the battery died. I put the new batteries in and it took about 10 minutes to charge.
I go to use a key provided by the 4-year old to find out it doesn't work on the rusty barrel, I mean door to the dungeon.
I go get another key to find out it also doesn't work. (What the fuck, right?)
By this time the princess is already free and getting chased by the Witch. I carefully follow the chase at a slow speed and decent distance.
Finally after much hesitation, I kiss the princess to save her and eat pie.
(the pie was my idea)

oh snap!

enjoy

It's Back.

It's back, and it's MORE ENERGETIC than ever.

I've Been to the Future

Let's face it pussycats, I've been in the future and it's glorious. I know it might be hard to believe without a little explanation but I am more than prepared to do such. If you are standing, please sit. If you are sitting, get the fuck on the floor. If you are on the floor, then just take it easy.

The future is okay. I mean maybe "glorious" was pushing it. It rarely actually benefits my life. It's not as far forward where I can buy stocks and make boatloads of money. And I can't stop natural disasters or keep people from dieing. Truth be said, I am merely 3 hours in the future. Go ahead and look at your cell phone. Trust me, its three hours later where I am; did I just blow your mind?

There is one major benefit I've found by living in the future; I've seen Jeff O'Brien; future Jeff O'Brien that is. I'm not sure how his path has changed since I knew him in the past, but the future is bright my friend. He is now in advertising, oh, pardon me. He WILL be in advertising in the FUTURE. I guess that something to look forward to. Enjoy him in the latest AT&T ad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEcvi9hzWXs

But Mom, Dad, It's the SAFE way to BREAK AND POP

This kid has got the goods...

Here's some fun facts!

Via: Online MBA

Washington Redskins Do It Again!!!

Not a week goes past where the Washington Redskins do not make a complete mockery of the National Football League. First, they signed Super Bowl "Legend" quarterback Rex "Sexxx Cannon" Grossman over a bar bet lost by Mike Shanahan to the devil in March 2010.

In order to distract the American population from this embarrassment, Washington signed veteran running backs Larry Johnson and Willie Parker. Now the Washington Redskins have an elite running back situation...if the year was 2006. Including Clinton Portis, the trio combined for over 1,000 yards rushing and scoring somewhere between zero and two rushing touchdowns. Nice!

After being the laughing stock of the league, the Redskins now nabbed veteran quarterback Donovan McNabb, making the Washington Redskins the new NFL quarterback club, and I personally LOVE it. Very classy move by the Washington Redskins. Now stuffing the team with quarterbacks, the five of them totaling 144 years of age (which goes up by 5 a year).

This begs a better question; "Who is Richard Bartel from Tarleton State?" (besides the future of the Redskins franchise?) They call him "the Kid", the youngest quarterback on the team (after they cut Colt Brennan) who ages 27 years old and...zero snaps.

Now, 144 sounds like a large number for total years of quarterback experience, but that is just a shade over the combined years of the top three starting running back on the 'Skins. (The Washington Redskins still haven't acknowledged Willie Parker to be on their roster)

Washington fans; please keep in mind it is always darkest before the dawn and although it will seem long, the football season is only a few months. See ya at the combine in 2011.

flozell adams in "cut"

Click on the picture to see full screen.

I've Seen Television (part 2)

This is goddamn bullshit.

Shake of the finger to USA network. As we all know, I've been watching a fuckload of television lately and I've just been admiring how fucking bullshit it is.

So I get bored and on USA at 4:00 I get excited to watch one of my favorite cartoons. I scroll through and nearly shit my pants; "nearly" hopefully, when I see "King of...". Although the later episodes where Bill Dauterive gets too creepy, but the episodes are still legit and it's better than all the other crap on television.

So I turn it on to USA and it's fucking "King of Queens"; the worst show in the history of the world. What a fuckin' crock!