Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Oh, the humanity!!!
I have looked at this picture every day for the past week or so, and I bust out laughing every time I see it... I don't know if any of you will think it's nearly as funny as I do, but I need to put this somewhere so I don't lose it.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
when the young man sighed
it was getting late. he fumbled through the kitchen. the refrigerator door blinds him as he grabs a styrofoam container. put his hand in and sets the microwave for 1 minute.
a minute later he is sad cuz they're too hot to hold and cheesesticks never microwave good in the first place.
a minute later he is sad cuz they're too hot to hold and cheesesticks never microwave good in the first place.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
I Love College Football...
I can't take credit for this. Introducing Holly Anderson, at EDSBS...
2:25 AM (3 hours ago)COMMUNITY SERVICE: WE PUN SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO.from EDSBS by Holly
The sheet’s aren’t even cold and already media outlets from coast to coast are scrambling to concoct cringe-inducing single-entendre Beaver-Trojan headlines for your perusal and nausea. In the immediate aftermath of tonight’s upset, we took the liberty of assembling every one we could find in a safe location, to be devoured or avoided as you see fit. Little humanitarian effort, from us to you, on the eve of what promises to be another weekend through the looking glass.
Jacquizz, where’s your protection?
Trojans Can’t Pull It Out
Hungry Beavers Suffocate Trojans
Trojans Can’t Get It Up For Big Night With Beavers
Sanchez Dirtied By Beaver Attack
Trojans Can’t Come From Behind, Fall Short
22 Trojans, No Protection
USC to Sleep in Wet Spot
Faced With Angry Beavers, Trojans Flaccid
Trojans Penetrate into Soft Waiting Flesh of Beavers, Fall Asleep Inside
Beavers Poke Surreptitious Hole In Trojans, Snatch Victory
Ejaculate Football Sodomy Metaphor Cockslap Lagos Hookerface
Something’s Fishy In Corvallis
Mark Sanchez is a Vag
We’re sure you can take it from there, unlike USC’s receivers. Sleep tight!
2:25 AM (3 hours ago)COMMUNITY SERVICE: WE PUN SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO.from EDSBS by Holly
The sheet’s aren’t even cold and already media outlets from coast to coast are scrambling to concoct cringe-inducing single-entendre Beaver-Trojan headlines for your perusal and nausea. In the immediate aftermath of tonight’s upset, we took the liberty of assembling every one we could find in a safe location, to be devoured or avoided as you see fit. Little humanitarian effort, from us to you, on the eve of what promises to be another weekend through the looking glass.
Jacquizz, where’s your protection?
Trojans Can’t Pull It Out
Hungry Beavers Suffocate Trojans
Trojans Can’t Get It Up For Big Night With Beavers
Sanchez Dirtied By Beaver Attack
Trojans Can’t Come From Behind, Fall Short
22 Trojans, No Protection
USC to Sleep in Wet Spot
Faced With Angry Beavers, Trojans Flaccid
Trojans Penetrate into Soft Waiting Flesh of Beavers, Fall Asleep Inside
Beavers Poke Surreptitious Hole In Trojans, Snatch Victory
Ejaculate Football Sodomy Metaphor Cockslap Lagos Hookerface
Something’s Fishy In Corvallis
Mark Sanchez is a Vag
We’re sure you can take it from there, unlike USC’s receivers. Sleep tight!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
Hi!!!!
Just wanted to drop a quick hello to my peoples on the west coast. You know you are all good peoples.
My first week in Nashville has been wild. I... um... picked up where I left off at my SD going away party. There have been lots of panty pool parties at my new pad (i'm a sucker for alliteration), and I've seen the sun rise most of the nights here. Ridiculous.
Anyway, I leave with you with this... I can't say I have the same problem, but still... hilarious!
My first week in Nashville has been wild. I... um... picked up where I left off at my SD going away party. There have been lots of panty pool parties at my new pad (i'm a sucker for alliteration), and I've seen the sun rise most of the nights here. Ridiculous.
Anyway, I leave with you with this... I can't say I have the same problem, but still... hilarious!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Double Scoop?
It was supposed to be a busy day at work today. It turned into stupid shit on the internet day instead....
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
It's Coming...
Do we have our roles? Do we have what it takes to be champions?
17 days...
You Got Cubed
Cubed Will Happen.
17 days...
You Got Cubed
Cubed Will Happen.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
training 2008
I know there has been a lot of concern about how my training has been going here at corporate and I truly apologize for my lack of communication. It has been a magical and fantastic journey through technology, space, and time; spending time with people from all over the world. Half of the 8 people are from corporate and others from Carolina, Mexico, and Hong Kong. For the sake of animosity I will not use their real names but will give a brief description of them:
apparently after this guy realized that everyone loves raymond sucks he decided to work for corporate and ask stupid questions about everything.
its uncanny how much this dude looks like anderson cooper. nice guy, he pays for all the meals and is a gentleman, just not a scholar. i also like this guy cuz i can tell he thinks i'm funny.
I used to like this guy until he started talking and i realized, although a woodsman, knows jack about plastic and has been only getting by with his years of experience.
who wants to guess that this is the guy from hong kong? they paired me up with this guy and he's alright, I'm not sure if you've ever worked with chinese people but apparently they love doing stuff. 'Let's try a different material to see what happens to the pressure integral at the postgate sensor!!!' Or we can just turn off the machine and play Final Fantasy on the DS....?
Kuato, not the guy on top, the guy in the stomach. This guy is a little firecracker, which basically means he never shuts up and he is shorter than me. He goes out of his way to mention how he has all these engineers working under him, such as 'I brushed my teeth with a different type of toothpaste that shouldn't effect all the engineers that work for me'. Get my drift?
This guy is alright. No major compliants. Talks a lot, but thats okay. Just makes the training longer.
Let the record state that I hate Carlos Mencia, both the comedian and the guy who sits next to me. I hate people who think they know what they are talking and really have no clue. He also doesn't drink alcoholic beer and stinks of BenGay, which means I smell it all the goddamn time. He drives me nuts and has a chip on his shoulder, it's like "Dude, shut your face cuz you don't know what you're talking about. Don't challenge the teacher, you're here to listen and remember what the trainer is saying then, with that information, you can go back to Mexico and do whatever you want.' I'm also kinda bitter cuz they have all new equipment in their plant and liek 7 machines, which is...hmmm; 52 less than us.
So yeah, I wish I was dead.
apparently after this guy realized that everyone loves raymond sucks he decided to work for corporate and ask stupid questions about everything.
its uncanny how much this dude looks like anderson cooper. nice guy, he pays for all the meals and is a gentleman, just not a scholar. i also like this guy cuz i can tell he thinks i'm funny.
I used to like this guy until he started talking and i realized, although a woodsman, knows jack about plastic and has been only getting by with his years of experience.
who wants to guess that this is the guy from hong kong? they paired me up with this guy and he's alright, I'm not sure if you've ever worked with chinese people but apparently they love doing stuff. 'Let's try a different material to see what happens to the pressure integral at the postgate sensor!!!' Or we can just turn off the machine and play Final Fantasy on the DS....?
Kuato, not the guy on top, the guy in the stomach. This guy is a little firecracker, which basically means he never shuts up and he is shorter than me. He goes out of his way to mention how he has all these engineers working under him, such as 'I brushed my teeth with a different type of toothpaste that shouldn't effect all the engineers that work for me'. Get my drift?
This guy is alright. No major compliants. Talks a lot, but thats okay. Just makes the training longer.
Let the record state that I hate Carlos Mencia, both the comedian and the guy who sits next to me. I hate people who think they know what they are talking and really have no clue. He also doesn't drink alcoholic beer and stinks of BenGay, which means I smell it all the goddamn time. He drives me nuts and has a chip on his shoulder, it's like "Dude, shut your face cuz you don't know what you're talking about. Don't challenge the teacher, you're here to listen and remember what the trainer is saying then, with that information, you can go back to Mexico and do whatever you want.' I'm also kinda bitter cuz they have all new equipment in their plant and liek 7 machines, which is...hmmm; 52 less than us.
So yeah, I wish I was dead.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Mr O'Reilly flips the fuck out
I know what you are sayin', "Dude, we've seen this months ago, its getting OLD". But out with the old, in with the NEW. The following is two clips: the first, the classic Bill O'Reilly video. The second? Perfection. Please watch the first one first to remind yourself of the original video.
I hope you watched the top video first
On an unrelated note, the guy who showed be this spins.
I hope you watched the top video first
On an unrelated note, the guy who showed be this spins.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Today's Question
Hmmmm.... sentient Raptor robots. What could POSSIBLY go wrong????
Fucking raptors....
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Bonfire
The latest..... UPDATE:
-Saturday the 31st
-Fiesta Island Meet @ MNiJ/K8/JOB/and the aptly named Sir Notappearinginthisblog's house
-Time: 6:00-10pm
Supplies:
Firewood, Grill, BYOB and Food, S'mores, Blankets, Chairs, Entertainment
Let's get a list of who all is going so we can divide who brings what...
For Sure:
Me
Plumazing
My Name is Jonas
Freak Out
Karen
K8
Konkey Dong
Andy
Wally
Henry
Marek
Erin
Not Attending:
JOB
Marc
Flynn
Sarah
who am I forgetting? Anyone?
[My Name is Jonas]
I'm game for Saturday the 31st. How about we set the starting time for around 6:30? That way it's early enough to get there and cook some food. We can all meet at my place and those people with SUVs can drive. I think that's me and Plumazing, maybe FlynnDiesel. Someone else want to pick up firewood? We can either buy several packs from Vons/Costco or we can relieve Vons of their excess pallets.
As for food, we don't need to do anything extravagant. I'm thinking sausages, hamburgers, and perhaps kabobs for the meat sensitive folks in the group. We'll need to bring a grill, too. If we're doing the fire thing, we might want to bring marshmallows, chocolate bars, and graham crackers. How can I have some more if I haven't had any yet?
Drinks? We can have a cooler full of non-alcoholic beverages and some liquor bottles and beers stashed in the cars. As long as we don't have any cans/bottles on the beach, I think we can get away with it. Plus, we can probably see cops coming from a mile away on Fiesta Island.
As for entertainment, I'm thinking the standards... football, frisbee, horseshoes, boombox (or car stereo), guitars, drumbox. We'll need a bunch of chairs and a few blankets.
Am I forgetting anything?
Oh, right...
How could I forget Tyrannosaurus flying an F-14? ....Awesome...
-Saturday the 31st
-Fiesta Island Meet @ MNiJ/K8/JOB/and the aptly named Sir Notappearinginthisblog's house
-Time: 6:00-10pm
Supplies:
Firewood, Grill, BYOB and Food, S'mores, Blankets, Chairs, Entertainment
Let's get a list of who all is going so we can divide who brings what...
For Sure:
Me
Plumazing
My Name is Jonas
Freak Out
Karen
K8
Konkey Dong
Andy
Wally
Henry
Marek
Erin
Not Attending:
JOB
Marc
Flynn
Sarah
who am I forgetting? Anyone?
[My Name is Jonas]
I'm game for Saturday the 31st. How about we set the starting time for around 6:30? That way it's early enough to get there and cook some food. We can all meet at my place and those people with SUVs can drive. I think that's me and Plumazing, maybe FlynnDiesel. Someone else want to pick up firewood? We can either buy several packs from Vons/Costco or we can relieve Vons of their excess pallets.
As for food, we don't need to do anything extravagant. I'm thinking sausages, hamburgers, and perhaps kabobs for the meat sensitive folks in the group. We'll need to bring a grill, too. If we're doing the fire thing, we might want to bring marshmallows, chocolate bars, and graham crackers. How can I have some more if I haven't had any yet?
Drinks? We can have a cooler full of non-alcoholic beverages and some liquor bottles and beers stashed in the cars. As long as we don't have any cans/bottles on the beach, I think we can get away with it. Plus, we can probably see cops coming from a mile away on Fiesta Island.
As for entertainment, I'm thinking the standards... football, frisbee, horseshoes, boombox (or car stereo), guitars, drumbox. We'll need a bunch of chairs and a few blankets.
Am I forgetting anything?
Oh, right...
How could I forget Tyrannosaurus flying an F-14? ....Awesome...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
I gotta post....
Since you wont shut up about it, Let's talk about how much I hate Jonas right now...Jager Bombs till 5am is just a kick in my balls. I feel horrible today. So in conclusion....F U Rage-master
...........
Wow, I leave for two and a half weeks, and this is what happens, eh?
No posts since...when??? lemme check... wait a second while i look back at this blog... no posts SINCE APRIL 20th?!?
Some of you haven't posted in weeks, some of you months, and some of you have never posted at all. What gives? As some of you know, My Name Is Jonas may be moving away in a couple months. I'd like to keep this thing going as a way to keep the fun stories rolling while I'm away for a while. That won't really work if NOBODY EFFING WRITES.
I really don't care what you write about. Tell us about your day. Something funny that happened at work. Describe your unusual bowel movement. Post something from the internet that might get a laugh. Throw around ideas for shit to do during the weekend. Just make it worth looking at this thing every once in a while.
Is that so much to ask?
And since it's Saturday morning, and I could REALLY go for some hash browns...
No posts since...when??? lemme check... wait a second while i look back at this blog... no posts SINCE APRIL 20th?!?
Some of you haven't posted in weeks, some of you months, and some of you have never posted at all. What gives? As some of you know, My Name Is Jonas may be moving away in a couple months. I'd like to keep this thing going as a way to keep the fun stories rolling while I'm away for a while. That won't really work if NOBODY EFFING WRITES.
I really don't care what you write about. Tell us about your day. Something funny that happened at work. Describe your unusual bowel movement. Post something from the internet that might get a laugh. Throw around ideas for shit to do during the weekend. Just make it worth looking at this thing every once in a while.
Is that so much to ask?
And since it's Saturday morning, and I could REALLY go for some hash browns...
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
ICE CREAM!!!
OK... I was going to explain how to survive a zombie apocalypse this week, but I didn't put enough time into it, so... that'll just have to wait. I... umm.... hope the zombie apocalypse doesn't happen this week.
In the meantime, check out this bear. He's like a real-life, kickass Donatello teddy bear. Awesome.
The overdubbed comment at the end.... oddly hilarious.
And this is just for fun. You have to get through about half of it before you'll really start to really enjoy it. Fortunately it's not that long.
Have much good weekends!
In the meantime, check out this bear. He's like a real-life, kickass Donatello teddy bear. Awesome.
The overdubbed comment at the end.... oddly hilarious.
And this is just for fun. You have to get through about half of it before you'll really start to really enjoy it. Fortunately it's not that long.
Have much good weekends!
Monday, April 14, 2008
The Decision Making Flowchart
As those that know me may or may not be aware, I am a big fan of turning that mother out. This is a pretty accurate description of my thought process on the weekend....
Friday, April 4, 2008
VELOCIRAPTORS
We interrupt your regularly scheduled ICE CREAM to bring you an important message from the American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention.
Velociraptor attack is the 3rd leading cause of death for men age 27-29. However, everyone must think about the implications of velociraptors: young and old, men, women and transgendered persons.
The American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention is a bi-partisan group of professionals, dedicated to the diffusion of knowledge concerning velociraptor attack prevention.Know the Enemy
The velociraptor is a bipedal carnivore with a long, stiffened tail and can be distinguished from other dromaeosaurids by its long and low skull, with an upturned snout. It bores a relatively large, sickle-shaped claw, typical of dromaeosaurid and troodontid dinosaurs. This enlarged claw, up to 67 millimeters (2.6 in) long around its outer edge, is a predatory device, used to tear into the prey, delivering a fatal blow.
Velociraptors are commonly found on tropical islands, converted to millionarie amusement parks, but are commonly being sighted in the Pacific Northwest. Of the essential facts you should know about velociraptors:
- Velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around its prey.
- Velociraptors can accelerate 4 m/s2, with a top speed of 25 m/s on open terrain, 10 m/s while wounded, and 10 m/s in indoor labratories.
- Velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. They can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.
- Velociraptors do not know fear.
New Home Buyer Tips
When buying a new home, there are a few things to look out for when assessing potential velociraptor attacks:
- Check all doors and windows. Doors should be made of solid oak or steel. Windows should have steel bars with spacing smaller than the av erage raptor.
- Make sure all entryways have adequate deadbolts. Quality deadbolts may be purchased at your local Home Depot.
- Always keep a loaded big-game rifle under your bed, and tire irons near every door. Remember, you should never be farther than 20 feet away from a tire iron.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Sunday Humor
Ok... this was mass emailed at my work on friday... and it was too good to not share!
These are a few of my favs... enjoy.
These are a few of my favs... enjoy.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Awesome Sports
Someone mentioned this past weekend that they should make a sports show that's kinda like The Daily Show is for news. Sounds hilarious. I'd watch it. Especially if the highlights were run like this...
This would be a good thing to write an actual blog about.... but... I'm pretty lazy, and I think I'll just leave it at that.
This would be a good thing to write an actual blog about.... but... I'm pretty lazy, and I think I'll just leave it at that.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Easter...
How was everyone's Easter?
Didn't y'all get together for [JOB]'s extravaganza?
Just seeing how it all went!
Didn't y'all get together for [JOB]'s extravaganza?
Just seeing how it all went!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Friday ICE CREAM!!!
Awesome.
It took some figuring out to get a flash video on here... unfortunately it plays automatically. I'll take it off after everyone's enjoyed it....
Happy Friday.
It took some figuring out to get a flash video on here... unfortunately it plays automatically. I'll take it off after everyone's enjoyed it....
Happy Friday.
Video Game Pitch Meeting (1979)
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Sunday Humor
Can't get enough of Demetri Martin... sorry the video doesn't move, but this is HILARIOUS!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Friday ICE CREAM!!!
No need to watch this the whole way through, a couple times will suffice. But I guarantee that it'll get stuck in your head. The ICE CREAM that keeps on giving...
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
(early) Friday double scoop of ICE CREAM!!!! With a cherry on top...
Alright, kids... Since I missed last week's ice cream and all I heard that evening was bitching, and since I'll be on the road all day tomorrow, I decided to put up this Friday's ICE CREAM early... and give a little extra, at that.
This week is a pair of old favorites. I believe we've all seen these, but now they're in a convenient, easy to find form: on the blog. And enjoy the cherry afterwards... Have a good weekend, folks.
Aaaand... your cherry.
This week is a pair of old favorites. I believe we've all seen these, but now they're in a convenient, easy to find form: on the blog. And enjoy the cherry afterwards... Have a good weekend, folks.
Aaaand... your cherry.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Who's in the captain's chair?
Kyle Fucking Orton
One year extension for the top prospect for the Bears starting quarterback position. Muhammed open after a short slant? Berrian open off a deep post? No. We got no receivers but fuck it, at least he's not going deep!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
ok bitches.
stop being bitches and START being my friends!
ha.
give some love to the newest, coolest member ;)
ha.
give some love to the newest, coolest member ;)
Friday, February 22, 2008
Friday ICE CREAM!!! ...or... Candy?
My 10 year old cousin told me about this... just wow.
The last line could be worth all the buildup. Until then, there's a lot of WTF??? going on.
The last line could be worth all the buildup. Until then, there's a lot of WTF??? going on.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Friday ICE CREAM!!!
And now for your Friday Ice Cream.
Finally, a candidate that appeals to my heavy metal sensibilities. Unfortunately, Mr. Romney has dropped out of the race. Le sigh..
Finally, a candidate that appeals to my heavy metal sensibilities. Unfortunately, Mr. Romney has dropped out of the race. Le sigh..
Friday, February 8, 2008
Friday ICE CREAM!!!
Nobody's posting, so I'll throw something on here just to get a laugh. No real post, just crap I find on the internet. I'll start doing it every Friday (if I remember or am not too lazy) so at least SOMETHING makes its way to the blog every so often. I'll call it the Friday afternoon ICE CREAM!!!! Because I think if we could eat one thing for every meal for the rest of our lives, we all know what it'd be...
And today's Friday afternoon ICE CREAM!!! : Wilford Brimley.
And today's Friday afternoon ICE CREAM!!! : Wilford Brimley.
No new blogs
Jason, Mike,
I am writing to you guys specifically since you are the only ones that seem to come here anymore. I am disappointed that this has not taken off the way that it should have. I partially blame myself, but I think the reason that we have not been succcessful here is because we do not seem to have enough quality posts on here. We need to step it up a bit. I have nothing to rant about today, but I propose that next week we all post something to get the creative juices flowing once again...how does that sound? Who's coming with me on this journey?
I am writing to you guys specifically since you are the only ones that seem to come here anymore. I am disappointed that this has not taken off the way that it should have. I partially blame myself, but I think the reason that we have not been succcessful here is because we do not seem to have enough quality posts on here. We need to step it up a bit. I have nothing to rant about today, but I propose that next week we all post something to get the creative juices flowing once again...how does that sound? Who's coming with me on this journey?
Friday, January 25, 2008
This weekend.
So... I hate office work. I hate it even more now that I get to spend most of my time out of it. I don't mean to bitch, but I've had a taste of freedom and it... is... delicious.
I only write this to make one minor point. I say we make this weekend look like this scene....
RAMPAGE!!!!! I call the Wolf.
I only write this to make one minor point. I say we make this weekend look like this scene....
RAMPAGE!!!!! I call the Wolf.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Roles for the Movie
As promised, the new movie will be written next month and filming be start in march.
Here are the roles available.
Please don't discuss what roles you are going with anyone.
It's kinda like Fight Club, the first role of You Got Cubed is you don't talk about You Got Cubed.
The second, well, you get the idea.
So. We'll begin auditions whenever I buy a camera for this.
You can talk to me about any of the roles.
All names are subject to change.
Please choose characters based on your availability to waste time on this.
Enjoy.
You Got Cubed Script
Cast:
1.) Barry Bostwick
a. This is prolly gonna be me
2.) Sancho Panda
a. Long time friend and trainer
b. Male
c. Mexican Heritage
3.) Flowers Schulmann
a. Falls in love with Barry
b. Who can blame her
c. Woman, prolly Karen
4.) Stoudamire “Check Mate” Jonez
a. The enemy
b. Competes in Dancing and Calculus competition
c. German
d. Male
5.) Billy “The Shakes” Dirtrat
a. Bookie
b. Male
c. Shady Character in general
d. Ties to fix the competitions for financial gain
e. Bribes Barry
f. American
g. He might be French actually
h. We’ll figure out a new name later
6.) Margaret Thatcher
a. Woman
b. Total Whore
c. Tries to convince Barry to go to the dirty side
d. Has to dress like a tramp
7.) Dr. Bribel Knorchelz
a. We’ll make this guy Indian
b. Native American I mean
c. He’s a doctor that kinda like does stuff during the movie say that Barry’s training to too strenuous
d. Is also against Barry doing drugs
e. Male
f. We’ll give him a feather too, like a headband
8.) Chester Dollarbags
a. This guy is rich and funds Barry’s training and entry fee
9.) Snagglepuss
a. This is Barry’s Zombie brother
b. He eventually dies
c. Male
10.) Bart Darby
a. The American dancer from the street
b. Calculus master but retired
c. He’s sorta like Apollo Creed in Rocky III
d. Male
e. You may have to put on make-up to appear African American
i. This is only preferred
11.) Franz “Roundhouse” Bullschtein
a. German
b. Stoudamire’s Trainer
12.) Burgess Meredith
a. This is Stoudamire’s girlfriend
b. She talks a lot of trash
c. I’m thinking she’ll be American
d. She’s a mild whore
i. Dresses semi-trashy
13.) Ma Bostwick
a. Barry’s Mom
b. She’s Old
Here are the roles available.
Please don't discuss what roles you are going with anyone.
It's kinda like Fight Club, the first role of You Got Cubed is you don't talk about You Got Cubed.
The second, well, you get the idea.
So. We'll begin auditions whenever I buy a camera for this.
You can talk to me about any of the roles.
All names are subject to change.
Please choose characters based on your availability to waste time on this.
Enjoy.
You Got Cubed Script
Cast:
1.) Barry Bostwick
a. This is prolly gonna be me
2.) Sancho Panda
a. Long time friend and trainer
b. Male
c. Mexican Heritage
3.) Flowers Schulmann
a. Falls in love with Barry
b. Who can blame her
c. Woman, prolly Karen
4.) Stoudamire “Check Mate” Jonez
a. The enemy
b. Competes in Dancing and Calculus competition
c. German
d. Male
5.) Billy “The Shakes” Dirtrat
a. Bookie
b. Male
c. Shady Character in general
d. Ties to fix the competitions for financial gain
e. Bribes Barry
f. American
g. He might be French actually
h. We’ll figure out a new name later
6.) Margaret Thatcher
a. Woman
b. Total Whore
c. Tries to convince Barry to go to the dirty side
d. Has to dress like a tramp
7.) Dr. Bribel Knorchelz
a. We’ll make this guy Indian
b. Native American I mean
c. He’s a doctor that kinda like does stuff during the movie say that Barry’s training to too strenuous
d. Is also against Barry doing drugs
e. Male
f. We’ll give him a feather too, like a headband
8.) Chester Dollarbags
a. This guy is rich and funds Barry’s training and entry fee
9.) Snagglepuss
a. This is Barry’s Zombie brother
b. He eventually dies
c. Male
10.) Bart Darby
a. The American dancer from the street
b. Calculus master but retired
c. He’s sorta like Apollo Creed in Rocky III
d. Male
e. You may have to put on make-up to appear African American
i. This is only preferred
11.) Franz “Roundhouse” Bullschtein
a. German
b. Stoudamire’s Trainer
12.) Burgess Meredith
a. This is Stoudamire’s girlfriend
b. She talks a lot of trash
c. I’m thinking she’ll be American
d. She’s a mild whore
i. Dresses semi-trashy
13.) Ma Bostwick
a. Barry’s Mom
b. She’s Old
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Super, my ass
With apologies to our one friend who likes that team from New York...
In my opinion, this was a shitty weekend of football. Our current hometown team lost, the storybook that IS Brett Favre lost, the Masshole Patriots are still undefeated, and the mildly retarded Mannging brother is in the Super Bowl. Excuse me, low grade learning disability? Eh, fuck it, retarded. Seriously, does anybody else look at the expressions on his face and just get the feeling that he'd rather be somewhere throwing a frisbee or chasing butterflies?
So yeah, the Super Bowl is going to blow. I fucking hate the Patriots. Their coach is an asshole, and the only thing entertaining about him is that we can laugh at those dumbshit cutoff, oversized, six year old sweatshirts. The real bitch of it? It was so cold in New England this past weekend that I didn't even get THAT pleasure while watching San Diego go down. In the two weeks before this so called Super Bowl, we get to see Tom Brady's smug ass smirk on camera while saying things that pass as humble. FUCK.
Then on the other side of the ball, we have the Little Giant Urban Achievers. Somehow, Miss Eliza Manning has been playing above herself for a couple of weeks now. Who doesn't believe that it's only a matter of time before she realizes that she's the SHITTY Manning? I give it a quarter and a half into the game... then we'll see that familiar confused look that we've all grown to love and she'll throw a touchdown pass... to a Patriots defensive back.
Besides, didn't we just see this game like three weeks ago? At least the commercials will be better. Who knows, it could be a close game again... but honestly, I hate the Pats, i dislike the Giants, and I could give a rat's ass who wins this game.
You know what I do like? Guacamole. Mmmm....
In my opinion, this was a shitty weekend of football. Our current hometown team lost, the storybook that IS Brett Favre lost, the Masshole Patriots are still undefeated, and the mildly retarded Mannging brother is in the Super Bowl. Excuse me, low grade learning disability? Eh, fuck it, retarded. Seriously, does anybody else look at the expressions on his face and just get the feeling that he'd rather be somewhere throwing a frisbee or chasing butterflies?
So yeah, the Super Bowl is going to blow. I fucking hate the Patriots. Their coach is an asshole, and the only thing entertaining about him is that we can laugh at those dumbshit cutoff, oversized, six year old sweatshirts. The real bitch of it? It was so cold in New England this past weekend that I didn't even get THAT pleasure while watching San Diego go down. In the two weeks before this so called Super Bowl, we get to see Tom Brady's smug ass smirk on camera while saying things that pass as humble. FUCK.
Then on the other side of the ball, we have the Little Giant Urban Achievers. Somehow, Miss Eliza Manning has been playing above herself for a couple of weeks now. Who doesn't believe that it's only a matter of time before she realizes that she's the SHITTY Manning? I give it a quarter and a half into the game... then we'll see that familiar confused look that we've all grown to love and she'll throw a touchdown pass... to a Patriots defensive back.
Besides, didn't we just see this game like three weeks ago? At least the commercials will be better. Who knows, it could be a close game again... but honestly, I hate the Pats, i dislike the Giants, and I could give a rat's ass who wins this game.
You know what I do like? Guacamole. Mmmm....
Friday, January 11, 2008
Stupid Fuzzy Boots
Does anyone else have a problem with those lame ass Uggs boots, or whatever the fuck they are called, that all these girls wear these days? Let's see here, its southern california, practically mexico really, and there isn't any snow within, what, 100 miles and these stupid girls are wearing these gay ass boots like they were in Aspen or something. What is the f'ing deal? Im not preceisely sure why it pisses me off so much, maybe because its like these dumb hu-ahs think they are hollywood stars or some shit, but it really grinds my gears if you know what I mean.
Monday, January 7, 2008
work sucks
How bad is it to return to work after 14 days off? Let me put it this way, I scheduled a dentist appointment for the first part of my day rather than be working. I haven’t been at the dentist for about 4 years, which explains why my bill was $3372, excluding the cost to have my wisdom teeth removed. But hell, I’ll go get my wisdom teeth pulled to get some additional time off of work. I get the first part of my dental work done next Monday afternoon; I’m looking forward to it
But coming back to work has a complete drag man. I showed up at the crack of dawn, 10:45, and plan on leaving around 5:00, depending. What have I done today? Nothing. I walked around the plant, yelled at a few people, delivered to cans of metal polish to people, and reset my desk. We got our offices worked on over the break and I’ll say, it looks decent. I don’t think it will make anyone act more professional or encourage any sort of positive work ethic. Speaking of which, I just got to the last boss in Zelda for the DS and I’m really excited to play it at work tomorrow to help the time fly. I only hope I don’t get bored at home tonight and inadvertently beat it then.
But I don’t know man, work is a drag. After having 2 weeks off I realize even more now that people who work for a living are nuts. How can you? Not working is the best thing ever. I think it was Socrates that said, “A man who works is a dude that totally sucks.” I’m not as deep as him but I think after reflecting on the whole job deal that I’ve come as close to him as a man can get to a man.
Even now, I’m not working, and if someone asks me to do something, I’m just gonna tell them that I’m on my way to lunch, I just have to fire off some emails prior to, which is a lie. Essentially, I schedule my time around arriving to work, lunch, and leaving work, and try to find ways to fill the gaps in between without actually having to do something, such as writing this or going to the dentist office, which is incidentally paid for by typing this blog.
But coming back to work has a complete drag man. I showed up at the crack of dawn, 10:45, and plan on leaving around 5:00, depending. What have I done today? Nothing. I walked around the plant, yelled at a few people, delivered to cans of metal polish to people, and reset my desk. We got our offices worked on over the break and I’ll say, it looks decent. I don’t think it will make anyone act more professional or encourage any sort of positive work ethic. Speaking of which, I just got to the last boss in Zelda for the DS and I’m really excited to play it at work tomorrow to help the time fly. I only hope I don’t get bored at home tonight and inadvertently beat it then.
But I don’t know man, work is a drag. After having 2 weeks off I realize even more now that people who work for a living are nuts. How can you? Not working is the best thing ever. I think it was Socrates that said, “A man who works is a dude that totally sucks.” I’m not as deep as him but I think after reflecting on the whole job deal that I’ve come as close to him as a man can get to a man.
Even now, I’m not working, and if someone asks me to do something, I’m just gonna tell them that I’m on my way to lunch, I just have to fire off some emails prior to, which is a lie. Essentially, I schedule my time around arriving to work, lunch, and leaving work, and try to find ways to fill the gaps in between without actually having to do something, such as writing this or going to the dentist office, which is incidentally paid for by typing this blog.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
New Year's Resolutions
Is there a point to even saying that we are making resolutions? Im not sure about you all, but I have failed at all of mine for 2007.
1) lose weight...check
2) get out of credit card debt...check
3) stop fucking the FB (we all know who that is, number 1)...check
4) stop eating KFC...check
so I guess my point is that we all tend to make these silly promises to ourselves (goals) that are really a bunch of BS in reality...is there a point to this?
1) lose weight...check
2) get out of credit card debt...check
3) stop fucking the FB (we all know who that is, number 1)...check
4) stop eating KFC...check
so I guess my point is that we all tend to make these silly promises to ourselves (goals) that are really a bunch of BS in reality...is there a point to this?
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